Why I love Spander...

[suki_blue]

Firstly, I’m going to ask the question why do I like Spike? He is, after all, one half of the pairing in question, the yin to Xander’s yang or the yang to Xander’s yin. Or maybe Fang to Xander’s Hawaiian shirts. Opposites, is what I’m trying to say. Badly.

The first part of why I like, no, love, Spike I only figured out a few days ago when I told a friend that I had a crush on the lead singer of My Chemical Romance and I particularly liked his bleached hair. My friend wasn’t surprised and merely said “Oh, it’s the Billy Idol thing.” So, after two years of lusting after my Spikealicious, I’ve finally figured out my physical attraction to him. It’s the Billy Idol thing.

Why else? He’s English, like me, dresses in black and leather, has a great, dark and dry sense of humour and has an attitude that would make any teenager proud. Nothing makes me sit up and take notice of a character more than a bad attitude. But the clincher is how good the badness is, how clever and how justified. Spike isn’t just a badass vampire who smokes a lot and always makes it look cool. He’s so much more than just a demon, a one dimensional monster that goes grr and sometimes bites – when he can. He oozes something more, something that was never taken away from him along with his soul. It’s the reason he survived so long where other vampires perished. It’s the reason he was loyal to Drusilla, to Buffy and even to Angel in the end. It’s the reason that he wasn’t the crazy megalomaniac Angelus was.

And the fanfiction version of Spike is not much different. He can love, and when it’s given to another it’s so deep and so fantastically beautiful that I can’t help but fall in love with him even more. Spander Spike loves to the point of no return. He adores Xander and would die before Xander is even so much as bruised. Spike protects him like a polar bear would protect her cub. He would never cheat, never hurt him and certainly never make him feel like less than he really is. That’s what makes my Spike a champion and that’s what makes him my dream boyfriend, even if he is technically a walking corpse. But that just means that he never ages and most importantly of all, he never truly dies. He survived Sunnydale and we all know he survived that alley way. We know.

Xander: Physically, he’s my perfect guy, just what I go for. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes and a big smile. And his personality holds so much more. He’s a genuinely nice guy and damn funny to boot. Yes, he can be obnoxious and I’m sure if I knew him in real life he’d irritate me immensely. But he’d charm me immensely, too. And like Spike, he’s loyal to a fault, and that’s something that translates well to fanfiction!Xander, along with his attitude. Let’s face it, Xander has a sharp tongue and despite the apparently bad high school grades, he possess a wit which is cleverer than most. Again, this is a quality that I admire greatly. It’s the reason I love characters such as Xander and Spike, McKay and Sheppard, Mal, House and Wilson (The later holds no slash interest as of yet, even though they’re hot and clearly meant for each other). I wouldn’t last a second in a row with any of them and that just puts them on a higher pedestal for me. Hmmm, and now I’m wondering if we shut all of them in a room together who would be left standing. I guess that would depend if Spike was chipless, if Sheppard had his P-90, if McKay had a laptop and a strange ancienty device, if House and Wilson had a vile containing an infectious disease, if Xander had a sword and both eyes or if Mal had Jayne.

Anyway, I’ve digressed, as I so often do. Why do I like Spike and Xander as a pairing, especially considering the lack of screen time they had together? Because they have a spark, chemistry, something that makes my heart boom. And mostly? It’s fanfic that’s done this to me. I began reading Spander even before I really knew who Spike was. I knew who Xander was because I owned the first season on DVD, but I hadn’t seen any episodes beyond that. I had a vague idea who Spike was and what he looked like, but apart from that I got my information from slash fics and it all sealed the deal.

For me, Spike and Xander are the perfect couple. They are so similar and so opposite at the same time. They’re oxymorons! I wonder which one is the moron and which one is the oxy. What’s an oxy? They’re passionate, fiercely protective of each other, ever-loving, best friends and the part that really works for me is that they’re forever. Always forever. Immortality, man, in two senses: Firstly, one day, somewhere, somehow, Spike will always turn Xander and Xander will stay the same bouncy, young, happy and light boy forever. Vampire Xander with a shiny soul and a demon on his arm. I don’t need that in a fic because I know it will happen anyway, afterwards. Secondly, Spike and Xander are immortalised through words, through our fanfic, through fandom. We’ve immortalised them.

Forever is an important factor for me. In real life, where everything around you withers and dies, where everything ends and changes, it’s comforting to have something that will always remain the same.

Spander is a fandom great, a classic, the Ferrari of slash, a phenomenon that will never be forgotten and often turned to. Fandom will never die and neither will Spander. My boys are forever and that’s why I love them.

But that’s just me. What do you think? Discuss while I hit the sack. Go!

Comments

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

You know, if you want us to discuss something, please give us more reasons to disagree with you than the Billy-Idol-thing, would you?
LOL

I really agree with everything you said (again, without the Billy-Idol-thing) and if you think that was badly written, thank God you wouldn't see mine (mostly because I wouldn't dare write any meta post).

That said, I'm even an hour ahead of you so I'll join my cat on my bed. OMG I rhymed again! Must go to sleep. Night night.
*yaaawn*

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

LOL! Yessss, I realise I'm probably quite alone with the Billy Idol thing. There's a crush that never went away. Hee!

I don't usually write meta posts, myself; I usually find that others can can what I mean much more coherantly.

Oooh, you had a late night! What country are you in?

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

firstly, I apologise to have known Spike first, before Billy Idol (i know, shame on me! LOL)

then I think writing meta posts should be obligatory for you at least once a week (for our reading pleasure, of course)

thirdly (is it a word? never mind), I'm in Germany, meaning GMT + 1

and I love your icon!!

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

firstly, I apologise to have known Spike first, before Billy Idol (i know, shame on me! LOL)

~gasp~ Goodness! Yes, shame! :oD I used to be a big fan.

I shall certainly try a meta post more often. I'll probably run out of things to talk about, though, and my mind only tends to run on one track. Hee!

Oooh, Germany! You're the second German I know of on my flist. Yay!

Thanks! The icon is by _wwsd_ Fell free to snag!

[mygothangel.livejournal.com]

thanks! I will snag & credit

if you like your list international, then I'm actually Silesian = half German / half Polish, citizen of both countries :)

[jans-intentions.livejournal.com]

I think lit_gal points out in her mini Buffyverse intro that why spander works is the capacity for love and loyalty in both of these characters. Joss ruined a lot of my love of the scoobies in later seasons, so I always wanted some happiness. I think Spike and Xander are the most deserving of it and it seems logical they find it with each other.

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

I agree. Joss made a lot of mistakes with Scoobies in the later seasons. I understand his need to develop them and really, slaying on a Hellmouth is enough to tarnish anyone, but there's got to be some hope, some light. Joss was very into the angst and it seems to be a tendendy for shows to become darker as they progress. I hate that, and it makes sense that we would try to reward the most deserving characters in our fanfic to make up for it. Spike and Xander were ignored and mistreated even though they were, in their own little ways, the real champions of the show.

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THIS ESSAY!!! Don't you dare put it down! It's better than the lion's share of the pseudo-intellectual, pompous wanking that passes for meta these days, and that's a fact!


Gabrielle

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

It's better than the lion's share of the pseudo-intellectual, pompous wanking that passes for meta these days, and that's a fact!

LOL! That sounded somewhat like a little rant. Hee! Thanks, luv. I just say what I feel. :o)

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

I read one a short while back by some self-aggrandizing twit who actually said "realer." I have had it up to here with pseudo-intellectuals and their uninteresting windbag-gery! That's why I liked your piece so much! It had charm, humour, and was refreshingly free of conceit!


Gabrielle

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Wow, yeah, there are some real twits about. I'd much rather read a piece that just tells it from the writer's heart, what they really think, not what they think others want to hear.

[kaleecat]

Not sure how coherant I'll be as I'm still rather woozy from new year's eve. I agree with what sexymermaid just said, and what you said about spike, xander & spander.

I entered the realm of spander very late, but once i read my first story (no idea what it was but it was on bloodclaim) i realized how 'right' it was. and wondered how the show would have been different if they had gone the gay route with xander instead of willow. though they would still have had to find a way for tara to be there, maybe as xander's supportive new friend? i'm sure there's a fic out there that isn't all human au. but I am seriously digressing here.

Its the snark you see, and the ugly orange chair, that they both are passionate about their "family", spike saving xander from caleb, . . .
They just fit. And I really can't imagine not reading Spander, and although I'll wander into xander/other people because I can & so many write it so well (note to self: see if ame has updated the xander/nightwing fic). It's Spander at the heart of it, which is why I re-read certain spander stories at least once a month. Plus, Spander led me to some pretty great people in this big, bad internet world.

And I agree so much with what you said, I'm just going to quote you to you (because I'm weird that way) --
For me, Spike and Xander are the perfect couple. They are so similar and so opposite at the same time. They’re oxymorons! I wonder which one is the moron and which one is the oxy. What’s an oxy? They’re passionate, fiercely protective of each other, ever-loving, best friends and the part that really works for me is that they’re forever. Always forever. Immortality, man, in two senses: Firstly, one day, somewhere, somehow, Spike will always turn Xander and Xander will stay the same bouncy, young, happy and light boy forever. Vampire Xander with a shiny soul and a demon on his arm. I don’t need that in a fic because I know it will happen anyway, afterwards. Secondly, Spike and Xander are immortalised through words, through our fanfic, through fandom. We’ve immortalised them.

Forever is an important factor for me. In real life, where everything around you withers and dies, where everything ends and changes, it’s comforting to have something that will always remain the same.

Sigh. I do believe i'll finish my sentinel fic, and then go find a favorite spander story. Sleep well my dear.

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

I entered the realm of spander very late, but once i read my first story (no idea what it was but it was on bloodclaim) i realized how 'right' it was.

Yes, me too! And I totally felt it was right. I'd discovered slash and looked around the internet trying out different fandoms and pairings, but when I got to Spander, I was hooked on the first story.

I would have loved to see Xander as the gay character. I think most of us would. I can't help wonder if he would have been paired up with a canon character that we know. Would they have joined the Scoobies like Tara did? It is a wonder.

The snark!! Yes! There has to be snark to interest me in a pairing. Really, I don't stray far and the pairings I'll read are very limited, but when I do find one I like, there has to be that tension.

There are so many Spander stories that I've read and re-read. They never get boring, do they? ~happy sigh~

[tabaqui]

Heeeeee. Like i'd argue! Spander works because they are, deep down, a lot the same. Insecure guys whose heart is the biggest thing about them, who don't give themselves lightly, but when they do - they give everything they've got.

Plus, yeah, different. Spike goes for fists and fangs, Xander would rather outsmart the enemy, but in the end they'll stand up for what they believe is *right* and for what they love.

Spike, Xander = otp4evah!
:)

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Totally, hon! Nail right on the head!

Insecure guys whose heart is the biggest thing about them, who don't give themselves lightly, but when they do - they give everything they've got.

And I love that so much about them. That's what love should be. It's the kind of love I hope I can find for myself one day.

Spike, Xander = otp4evah!

Yeah, baby!!

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

beautifully put. They're equals and opposites. They both have an amazing capacity for love and loyalty and a hunger to belong. And oh, lordy, the snark!

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, luv!

They both have an amazing capacity for love and loyalty and a hunger to belong

Exactly. So right for each other.

Snark!! Gotta have that snark. A pairing isn't a pairing with out the snark! ~happy sigh~

[taruma16.livejournal.com]

There's nothing to discuss!
You are so right! It's a great essay too!

And I still say, Joss and co did think about putting them together in season 4. They just weren't courageous enough to do it! *sigh*

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thanks!

And I still say, Joss and co did think about putting them together in season 4. They just weren't courageous enough to do it! *sigh*

Damn! If only! Could you imagine it? Uh, probably, huh? Hee! god, I wish!!

[taruma16.livejournal.com]

Oh, I did imagine!
I even made a poll to find out if others could imagine too.
Here..
http://taruma16.livejournal.com/99229.html

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh yes! I remember that!

Wow, they do look hot for each other in those pics. I may have to re-watch that ep again now!

[sweet-exile.livejournal.com]

Spike's a funny character. I love reading about him in Spander but the last few seasons of BTVS I wanted to throttle him and possibly the writers. I think that was mainly due to what they'd done to one of my favourite characters.

There was something pre-chip that was much more appealing than post=chip Spike. It's down to that badboy attraction again I think.

I'm glad there is a place where the fandom still lives on. No matter which pairings you love.

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

I must say, I prefer a pre-chip Spike too. There is just something about the evil that I love. I know they had to get his character into the fold somehow, but I'm sure there could have been a better way. I hated that they made him fawn all over Buffy, too. Something was amis there, too. Hmm.

[sweet-exile.livejournal.com]

That bothered me a lot.

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean, he's obsessive, fine. But there are plenty of other ways to show that trait.

[sweet-exile.livejournal.com]

I think it bothered me because I felt the writers were trying too hard to recapture the whole Buffy&Angel thing. I would have loved a completely different storyline if only they'd been a little more adventurous.

Thank god for the internet!

ack! just realised don't have a spander icon what is wrong with me? I've become lost in an obsession with CSI!!!

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Totally. One bout of Slayer + Vampire was enough.

~gasp~ Shame on you!!

I've never watched CSI. I wouldn't know where to begin.

[sweet-exile.livejournal.com]

I love CSI. Started watching Miami somewhere in the middle of Season 3 and fell in love with it. Discovered Vegas then started watching NY. Think I just about caught up with all the seasons now just waiting for the new ones to arrive!

So you could always do what I did just watch random episodes and catch up that way.

[liliaeth]

I guess for me it's exactly the opposite. I was only halfway interested in him pre-chip, and most of that interest was due to Becoming and Spike's decision to make a truce with Buffy. If he'd never done that, he'd have never caught my interest. Sure he'd have been funny, but I wouldn't have fallen for the character.

I started liking him in s4, due to his weaknesses as shown in s4 and I fell in love with him in s5 when we saw the good he was capable of when he falls in love.

[sweet-exile.livejournal.com]

I think that only thing that really bugged me about Spike wasn't the actual falling in love part. He proved he could love and was loyal in Seasons 2 and 3. What annoyed me was the way the 'oh my god I love Buffy!' was suddenly shoe-horned into the show mid-season as if the writers couldn't think of any other way to keep Spike in it. It was an aspect of the show that didn't just seem right to me.

I realise his character had to change as a result of the chip but I wish the writers had gone a different way about it.

[liliaeth]

Hmm, guess that's a matter of opinion, but I've always felt that the spuffy ship was one of the most organic parts of the series, something that started in School Hard and grew up to Chosen. But then again, spuffy is in my top three of fave ships*g*.

To me the only ships that really got shoehorned in were Wes/Fred and Willow/Kennedy.

[sweet-exile.livejournal.com]

See all a matter of taste. Glad we can agree to disagree though.

I see your point Wes/Fred and Willow/Kennedy and as for the whole Angel/Cordy/Connor 'madness' I put that down to some horrible horrible dream.

[liliaeth]

Angel/Cordy/Connor? Wasn't that some fanficwriter's mad dream?

(hides happily in the land of denial.)

[sweet-exile.livejournal.com]

I wish it was only that then I wouldn't have had to watch it play out on my TV.

[kitty-poker1.livejournal.com]

Beautifully put, hon. They have physical differences, like cool and warm, blond and dark, small and broad, but that just makes them more attractive to me. Opposites attracting and all that. But they have much more in common in character, like their whole-heartedness and strength and bravery.

Joss did consider having Xander as the character who turns out to be gay rather than Willow, I remember reading. I wonder who he would have paired him with. It should be have Spike and I wish he'd had the courage to do it! I guess he and the network figured it'd be more acceptable to have a gay female than male couple. Yet now gay couples are popping up in movies and tv shows all over the place.

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

~happy sigh~ Oh I love my bois. No matter which way you look at it, they are made for each other! Plain and simple! Hee!

Yeah, that's right. I don't think the network would have been ready for a gay Xander at that time. Gay Willow was definitely more acceptable. Just imagine if they had put Xander with Spike, even just flirting! Oh!

I just went to a happy place.

[shakatany.livejournal.com]

I love Spike as he's the vamp who learned better but I was never too crazy about the Xander I saw on TV. When I first enocuntered BtVS fanfic at the beginning of S6 I was into Spuffy as was canon but when she mistreated him so I felt she wasn't worthy of him and so I drifted into Spangel where the Sire Childe relationship made sense. Eventually though it riled me as the fics tended to make Spike so childish. I then found Spander where the 2 bois are equals (for the most part) and the Xander of fanfic has really grown on me thanks to all the great writers out there.

Someone told me that ME had plans for Xander to turn gay until Seth Green decided to leave and then Willow was the one to be made gay. I wonder if Seth had stayed with the show if ME might actually have paired Spike And Xander? Somewhere out there is a parallel universe where that happened and I would love to be able to peek in. Until them the fanfics will have to suffice.

Shakatany

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

I've always been a Xander fan, bit I'm not too happy with how he often written was in canon. It shocked me after reading so many Spander fics the way he was actually written in the series. I've never been into Spuffy at all. I hated how Buffy treated Spike; even if she was in a dark place, it still didn't give her an excuse to take it out on another person. Then again, I disliked Bangel, too. When I watch S5 of Angel it strikes me as very odd that he would have gone for Buffy. Very odd indeed

Someone told me that ME had plans for Xander to turn gay until Seth Green decided to leave and then Willow was the one to be made gay.

I've never heard that. Damn that Seth Green! He's got a lot to make up for. Boy, do I want to peek at that AU. :o)

[liliaeth]

I guess what I like about spander is the similarities between them. When I read spangel or spuffy, it's because of the differences, but when I read spander, it's because at the core, they're very much alike. In fact, in many ways they're too alike, which is why I think, they'd like to fight so much as well.

They're both nice guys who tend to hide that behind a biting form of humor. They're very human, very much so, even though Spike is a vampire. In fact, from what we saw of vampire Xander, it was already obvious that he was using the same methods William used when he became Spike, to seem the tough guy.

And it's that very humanity that attracts me to them. It'ts for that reason that I prefer keeping Xander strictly human. No vampire Xander, no superpowered Xander, just Xander. Because that's who he'd want to be. And showing Spike's devotion in staying with that Xander even as he grows older and goes wrinkled and finding new things to like about his face, no matter how it changes with age.

Xander isn't my physical type, neither is Angel for that matter. I never found either of them all that attractive, but characterwise I could definitely see him with Spike. Mostly because spander is one of the few relationships with Spike, that is a relationship of equals. Now I prefer Spike as a sub, but with Xander I could see them both switching places depending on the mood. (though I still have a hard time seeing Spike topping anyone, unlike with Angel, I could actually see Xander bottoming, which is something I could never ever see Angel do, unless he's topping from the bottom.)

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

but when I read spander, it's because at the core, they're very much alike. In fact, in many ways they're too alike, which is why I think, they'd like to fight so much as well.

Absolutely. They are very much the same. They both have that special brand of humour they use as a sheild, and underneath the bluster there are two quite vulnerable men. But they'll never admit that to each other so they'll continue to try to get one over the other one.

And it's that very humanity that attracts me to them. It'ts for that reason that I prefer keeping Xander strictly human. No vampire Xander, no superpowered Xander, just Xander.

That's very much like kitty_poker1. She prefers Xander to be just that - Xander. He is who he is and that's why we write and read about him. Me, I don't mind the odd vamp!Xander fic here and there, but I prefer him human and warm. I do like the challenge of a super-powered Xander, though. I think it's fun to put him in outlandish situations but still take care to keep him uniquely Xander. but that's just me :oD

Now I prefer Spike as a sub, but with Xander I could see them both switching places depending on the mood.

LOL! Ahh, the old top V bottom debate. I always enjoy thinking about this. For me, Spike is a top and so is Angel. Xander is a bottom which is why he works in a pairing with Spike or Angel. It's also why I don't like Spangel: I just can't see either Spike or Angel taking it for the other one. :oD In my fics Spike is the top 80% of the time, with Xander only taking the lead occasionally just for variety ;o)

[liliaeth]

That's very much like kitty_poker1. She prefers Xander to be just that - Xander. He is who he is and that's why we write and read about him. Me, I don't mind the odd vamp!Xander fic here and there, but I prefer him human and warm. I do like the challenge of a super-powered Xander, though. I think it's fun to put him in outlandish situations but still take care to keep him uniquely Xander. but that's just me :oD

Oh I can see the appeal, but the problem for me is that superpowered Xander has been soured for me by all the Xander Stu fics I've read over the years. Far too many fics with a superpowered Xander have little or nothing to do with the actual Xander.

Not that there aren't exceptions to this rule. lit_gal for example is one of the few people that could get me to read hyena Xander, simply because she's that good. But that's because even if she gives him powers, her Xander's still Xander underneath. With a lot of others, I just get the feeling that I don't even recognize the char anymore.

[liliaeth]

On top of that, to get to the top/bottom thing, I just find it impossible to see Spike as a dom. He may top, but he's always a sub. This is a guy who in my opinion doesn't even fall in love, unless the person he falls for can keep him down. It's one of the reasons why he never loved Harmony, because she couldn't top him.

Just look at his fantasies, the Buffybot, his dreams about Buffy, he simply wants a partner who can dominate him. Cecily, Dru, Angelus, Buffy... they all have one thing in common, they're all tops/doms.

To me one of the reasons Buffy/Angel doesn't work, is because both Buffy and Angel are doms and neither of the two would be willing to submit longterm, which is why to me Buffy/Spike does work, because Spike's a sub and is willing to let Buffy be in charge.

Xander on the other hand is neither a dom nor a sub. He can easily work as both, but prefers being on top. I think mostly, because Xander has little power in his actual life, that where sex is concerned, he just likes to be in charge.

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Agreed. It's just not worth reading if Xander isn't recognisable. It might as well be original fic.

[lil-miss-maddie.livejournal.com]

I really can't do anything but agree.
There's just something that makes Spander feel *right*. I'm a big slash fan and it feels like I've read most pairings, but no matter how much I stray I always come back to them.
Spander Spike loves to the point of no return. He adores Xander and would die before Xander is even so much as bruised. Spike protects him like a polar bear would protect her cub. He would never cheat, never hurt him and certainly never make him feel like less than he really is.
I feel the exact same thing! That is a huge part of why I adore Spander Spike, he is he protective, possessive and loving lover I think most of us want to have.
I must admit that I had never payed that much attention to Xander a a chacarter on the show before I became a Spanderholic. Then I was facinated by what so many writers seemed to see in him. That loyalty, depth and the possible reasons to why he made himself the zeppo of the group. I hadn't seen much of the earlier seasons and was rather oblivious of the hints about his awful homelife. I was to busy drooling after Spike in season 5. When I finally saw the beginning I noticed what the rest already had, and my compassion for him grew.

You shouldn't stop writing down your thought on these lovely boys, it's nice to think of it when reading your fics.

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Yes, I always come back to them, too. I think they'll always be my OTP.

I must admit that I had never payed that much attention to Xander a a chacarter on the show before I became a Spanderholic. Then I was facinated by what so many writers seemed to see in him. That loyalty, depth and the possible reasons to why he made himself the zeppo of the group.

No, i didn't either. I'd only seen the first series and I remember thiking he was cute, but it was the slash that really turned me on to him. As you say, it's that depth of character that makes him such as individual and so fun to read and write about.

He's clearly had it quite tough and having a partner like Spike is exactly what he needs: someone that will always put him first.