Fic: Teenage Dirtbag - 16/? - NC-17
Jul. 17th, 2006 08:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
suki_blueTitle: Teenage Dirtbag
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Season 1, so contains young Xander. Some parts may contain mature themes, violence, and graphic sex. You have been warned! Also, this fic is likely to be very long and will be updated whenever the muse feels like it.
Summary: Teenage life on a Hellmouth. Angel confronts Xander with a warning or two.
Beta'd by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kitty_poker1
Written for my darlingamejisuto
Previous parts are HERE
Xander narrowed his eyes and stared suspiciously at his saviour. “Angel.”
His saviour nodded a greeting in return. “Xander.”
Larry was retreating fast, rubbing his wrist where Angel had twisted it. Xander glanced at him and then looked quickly back at Angel, almost afraid that Angel would have done the Vampire Shuffle and disappeared.
If Angel was hanging around, Xander liked to know exactly where he was. “Angel,” he greeted again.
There was silence while Angel seemed to be processing what to say next. “Are you okay?” His face was expressionless and Xander wondered if Angel even gave a shit.
Xander wasn’t stupid, not by a long shot. Spike hadn’t said anything, but by Angel’s well timed absence it was clear that he’d accompanied Spike to find Drusilla. And maybe they had found her, and maybe Spike and Dru were together again and happy and…
Xander wanted Spike to be happy. Even though Spike was an evil, blood sucking fiend, he’d still been nice to him. He’d still treated Xander with a surprising amount of respect, more than many humans had graced him with.
There was no part of Xander that condoned Spike’s lifestyle. Taking a person’s life, no matter what the reason, was a whole world of wrong, and just because he thought Spike had a nice ass and a clever tongue, it didn’t mean that he could justify all the other stuff.
But on the other hand, and here’s where things were getting a little hazy in Xander’s mind, Spike was a vampire and he was only doing what vampires did. Spike was a wild animal and he killed to feed, to survive, to live.
But Spike had also shoved railroad spikes in places that made Xander’s eyes water at the thought.
It was a grey, or perhaps red, area and Xander had no choice but to leave it there to fester. There was no point in trying to work it out. It was like a puzzle that Xander would never have any chance of solving and it was all moot anyway because Spike was gone and there was no longer any point to the conundrum.
Spike was gone.
Xander swallowed and tried not to feel the stupid, pathetic pain that always came with that thought.
Spike was gone. He’d found Drusilla and he’d gone. Spike was happy.
And Xander hated Angel just a little bit more for that.
“I’m fine.” Xander bit his tongue to avoid saying ‘thanks’ at the end of that answer. He wasn’t going to say thanks for anything where Angel was concerned.
Angel cast a brief glance over the dance floor. Xander looked that way too and decided that Angel was checking for Buffy’s proximity. She was still at the table with Willow, completely oblivious to anything that had just happened or was happening now.
“We need to talk,” Angel said.
Uh-oh. “We do?” Xander’s brain clunked and clicked to find a stupid response or a funny brush off, anything to disguise the fear he felt. Angel’s expression gave absolutely nothing away, but Xander’s head suddenly filled with a handful of terrors. What exactly did Angel know? Did Angel know that he’d fooled around with Spike? Had Spike opened his great, big, fat mouth and blabbed? Would Angel tell Buffy? Kick his ass? Say welcome to the family, can I have a bite?
Angel glanced over at Buffy again and nodded back at Xander. “Outside.” He turned and left and Xander debated making a break for it, but his legs suddenly felt like jelly and he was sure he’d only end up doing a cartoon, running-on-the-spot thing before Angel grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him off. Reluctantly, Xander followed and they left The Bronze through the side entrance.
They walked a fair distance away from the club before Xander spoke. And that was only to break the tension, the tension that only he probably felt because Angel looked as cool as a cucumber. “So what’s this about?”
Angel glanced down at Xander and nearly smiled. “I think you know.”
“Uh, don’t think so.” Xander laughed nervously. “Enlighten me, oh undead one, because I really am as stupid as I look. Is it Buffy’s birthday? Let me guess, you have no idea what to get her? Well, I am not shopping for lacy bras with you. You’re on your own, pal.”
“Spike.”
Xander’s step faltered and he was pretty sure Angel noticed. “I have no idea…”
Angel stopped and his hand closed around Xander’s arm before he could walk on and pretend that this conversation wasn’t happening. “He told me. So there’s no point in denying it.”
Xander considered lying anyway. Innocent until proven guilty. And there was no Spike around to give evidence. “Shit.” But there was no point because Angel did know and if Xander wanted to have any chance of convincing Angel to not tell Buffy then he needed to be at least somewhat honest.
“Okay,” Xander said. “What did he tell you?” Xander had absolutely no chance of stopping the instinctive cringe. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to know.
Angel was silent again and when he finally spoke it was with humour in his voice. Xander wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Angel exhibit humour. “No details, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Obviously it was and Xander was near ready to clock Angel for making him sweat, but then he remembered the whole super strength thing and decided that it wasn’t worth ending up on his ass on the sidewalk. “Why do I get the impression you’re enjoying this?”
“I’m a tortured soul. I gotta get my kicks somehow.” He grinned then and carried on walking.
Xander jogged to catch up. “Hey! What’s with you?! I thought you were gonna give a lecture about Spike and the evil things that vampires do. You’re the expert, after all.” Xander cursed his overactive mouth when Angel’s face fell from amused back to expressionless. Whoops.
“How you risk your life is your business, Xander.”
Xander made a ‘go on’ gesture with his hand. “Yeah, and?”
“And I wanted to tell you two things. Firstly, Spike’s gone and I have no idea where. He said he wasn’t coming back.”
Well, that confirmed it then. It should have made things feel simpler, but suddenly Xander’s head felt bug crazy.
“Secondly, Spike always comes back.”
Xander looked at the floor to find his head because he was sure it had overloaded and fallen off.
Angel continued. “You’ll need to make some decisions and you’ll need to make them quickly because if this reaches Buffy you know she’ll get involved. I don’t want that. You don’t know what Spike is capable of.”
Xander was still reeling from the ‘Spike always comes back’ comment, but somehow he managed to force his brain into first gear. “I do know.”
Angel studied his face. Xander would normally have been uncomfortable with that but his heart was racing and his stomach was churning and suddenly Angel didn’t really matter.
“Then you’ll know that he’s killed two Slayers.”
Xander nodded.
Angel stepped into Xander’s private space. His eyes were dark and angry and Xander made the decision then that this wasn’t a good vampire to piss off. Especially when you were alone with him.
Angel backed him into the wall with a bump. He put a hand each side of Xander’s head and leaned closer. “Buffy’s not ready to face him.”
Xander wanted to close his eyes and turn away, but Angel’s gaze was so strong that it held him in place. “I know.” It was whispered because Xander’s voice was nearly gone.
“And there’s one more thing. Something I need to know,” Angel continued. He removed one hand from the wall and dropped it to Xander’s hip. His fingers pressed and held Xander in a vice-like grip. He massaged that spot for a moment before his hand relaxed and his palm glided over to the growing bulge in Xander’s pants.
Xander’s eyes did close then because Angel’s hand was stroking and, shit, that felt damn good. Angel squeezed and Xander’s breath hitched. “Angel…stop.”
Then, cheek to cheek, Angel whispered in Xander’s ear. “Is this a Spike thing?” he asked, “because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell feels like a vampire fetish thing.”
Xander’s eyes shot open at that. He managed to get his hands between them and shoved Angel away with an angry grunt. “Fuck off!”
Angel stumbled back. “If your foolish behaviour hurts Buffy,” he said, “I will make you very sorry.”
Xander’s face twisted into an expression that was part anger and part disbelief. “Who the hell do you think you are?! Buffy is my friend! I would never do anything that would…”
“You played around with Spike.”
“So?! If Spike wanted to fight Buffy he would have. He already knew who she was. That had nothing to do with me. And he never tried to get any Slayer related intel. He never tried anything.”
Angel cocked an eyebrow. “Now I know you’re lying.”
“Hey! What me and Spike did is none of your damn business.” Xander’s voice faltered as he thought about what they had done. Spike’s hands, Spike’s kisses.
Angel interpreted the falter differently. “Did he hurt you?”
“And what if he did? Like you care.”
Angel seemed to be considering that. “I’ll tell Giles,” he said finally, turning and striding away.
It wasn’t a threat, it was a statement, and Xander charged after Angel and grabbed hold of his jacket sleeve. “No, no, no! You can’t tell!”
“I have to.”
“You don’t! You said yourself he’s gone and he didn’t hurt me, not at all. Angel, man, you have to believe me!”
Angel allowed Xander a brief glance as he kept walking, never slowing his pace. “I do believe you. I’m still telling.”
“What are you, five?! You’re still telling?! Come on! Cut me some slack here!”
“Spike will be back. And if he didn’t hurt you before he’ll hurt you then. I can’t let that happen.”
“Oh, please, you can’t let that happen,” Xander mimicked. “Which Good Samaritan are you suddenly channelling? And hey, you just assaulted me!”
“I didn’t. I was trying to prove a point.”
“And I’m sure Giles will see it that way,” Xander spat, “because if you tell him about me and Spike I swear to all the gods I’ll tell him what you just did to me. You can kiss your trusted position goodbye, Deadboy.”
Angel stopped. “You wouldn’t.” His expression wasn’t so confident.
“Then you really don’t know me at all. I would do it and I will exaggerate and possibly even make stuff up.”
“You’re right. I don’t know you. I hadn’t pegged you as a liar.”
Xander shrugged like he was indifferent to the comment. “I don’t usually lie. But not only are you about to tell one of my friends, who happens to be a Watcher, that I’m consorting with a soulless vampire that killed two Slayers but, worse than that, you’re about to out me!”
“What does that mean?”
“Okay, I realise you’re old, but did you take the snooze train to Sleepsville for the last century? You’re about to drag me out of the closet! I’m not ready to tell!”
The penny seemed to drop and Angel’s angry eyes softened. “You’re worried that your friends will find out you’re gay?”
Xander nodded. “Duh. Big time.”
“I wasn’t aware they didn’t know. It was obvious to me.”
Xander was sure there was an insult in there somewhere, but he ignored it in favour of more pleading. “Angel, please don’t tell. I swear Spike and I just kissed a few times. That was it. It’s over and he’s gone. That’s all, folks. And if he comes back then you’ll just have to tell him to stay away from me. And I’ll stay away from him. Just don’t rat me out, okay?”
Reluctantly, Angel nodded. “Okay. My lips are sealed. But if he comes back…”
“Yeah, I know, I know. It won’t happen.”
Angel seemed satisfied with that. He started walking away. “We should get you back to The Bronze before you’re missed.”
“I should get back before I’m missed. You should be elsewhere. You’re not exactly my favourite person right now.”
Angel nodded. “I’m sure I’m not. I’ll make sure you get there safely then I’ll…” He flapped his hand, “…go. Somewhere else. And you should maybe consider talking to your friends about your gay issues.”
“Excuse me?! Spare me the Rikki Lake, will you? I don’t have issues. I’m gay, therefore I am, but I certainly don’t have issues!”
That seemed to amuse Angel. “Is that so?”
“Yes! It is, actually!”
“Then why don’t you tell them?”
“Hey, sixteen here, remember? Coming out is hard and when I do it, I wanna do it properly. I’m just…”
“Scared?”
“No! You are such an asshole, Angel. I have no idea what Buffy sees in you. I’m just not ready yet. I’m not ready for my friends and family to walk away from me.” Xander looked at the ground and willed the sidewalk to open up and suck either him or Angel down. Yet he still couldn’t seem to stop talking. “I’m not sure I could cope with that. You know, and the whole humiliation thing. You ever get bullied at school?” he asked Angel.
Angel shook his head. “No.”
“Well, I have and it sucks. Occasionally I still get smart remarks and it’s not unheard of for me to get an elbow in the face on the basketball court, but I can handle that. But I don’t think I can go back to what it used to be like. It’s too hard. And besides, I like to wake up in the morning happy, not sick to my stomach that I’m gonna get pushed in the pool again or beaten up or tripped up in the halls and land flat on my face in front of everyone.”
“I can see how that would cramp your day.”
“Understatement Awards? You get first prize.”
The Bronze came back into view and Angel stopped. “I’ll leave you here.”
“I’ll try to contain myself.”
“Xander, I’m sorry about…what I did. I guess I’m just not used to dealing with people.”
“I never would have guessed.”
Angel sighed as Xander turned around and headed back towards The Bronze. “I meant what I said, though, Xander. Don’t involve Buffy in this. And be careful with Spike because he will be back.”
Xander stopped and looked over his shoulder. He quashed the urge to say ‘I hope so.’
“And…” Angel seemed to be having trouble finding the right words, “…if you get in trouble and you can’t tell your friends, come and, uh, tell me.”
Xander’s mouth opened in barely concealed shock. “You? As in you? Like…you?”
“Me,” Angel said. “Oh, and when Spike does decide to come back, don’t tell him the bullying story unless you want to wake up the next day with half your class dead.”
Xander blinked and Angel was gone. He turned back to The Bronze and walked in. “I still hate that guy.”
TBC…
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Season 1, so contains young Xander. Some parts may contain mature themes, violence, and graphic sex. You have been warned! Also, this fic is likely to be very long and will be updated whenever the muse feels like it.
Summary: Teenage life on a Hellmouth. Angel confronts Xander with a warning or two.
Beta'd by
kitty_poker1Written for my darling
amejisutoPrevious parts are HERE
Xander narrowed his eyes and stared suspiciously at his saviour. “Angel.”
His saviour nodded a greeting in return. “Xander.”
Larry was retreating fast, rubbing his wrist where Angel had twisted it. Xander glanced at him and then looked quickly back at Angel, almost afraid that Angel would have done the Vampire Shuffle and disappeared.
If Angel was hanging around, Xander liked to know exactly where he was. “Angel,” he greeted again.
There was silence while Angel seemed to be processing what to say next. “Are you okay?” His face was expressionless and Xander wondered if Angel even gave a shit.
Xander wasn’t stupid, not by a long shot. Spike hadn’t said anything, but by Angel’s well timed absence it was clear that he’d accompanied Spike to find Drusilla. And maybe they had found her, and maybe Spike and Dru were together again and happy and…
Xander wanted Spike to be happy. Even though Spike was an evil, blood sucking fiend, he’d still been nice to him. He’d still treated Xander with a surprising amount of respect, more than many humans had graced him with.
There was no part of Xander that condoned Spike’s lifestyle. Taking a person’s life, no matter what the reason, was a whole world of wrong, and just because he thought Spike had a nice ass and a clever tongue, it didn’t mean that he could justify all the other stuff.
But on the other hand, and here’s where things were getting a little hazy in Xander’s mind, Spike was a vampire and he was only doing what vampires did. Spike was a wild animal and he killed to feed, to survive, to live.
But Spike had also shoved railroad spikes in places that made Xander’s eyes water at the thought.
It was a grey, or perhaps red, area and Xander had no choice but to leave it there to fester. There was no point in trying to work it out. It was like a puzzle that Xander would never have any chance of solving and it was all moot anyway because Spike was gone and there was no longer any point to the conundrum.
Spike was gone.
Xander swallowed and tried not to feel the stupid, pathetic pain that always came with that thought.
Spike was gone. He’d found Drusilla and he’d gone. Spike was happy.
And Xander hated Angel just a little bit more for that.
“I’m fine.” Xander bit his tongue to avoid saying ‘thanks’ at the end of that answer. He wasn’t going to say thanks for anything where Angel was concerned.
Angel cast a brief glance over the dance floor. Xander looked that way too and decided that Angel was checking for Buffy’s proximity. She was still at the table with Willow, completely oblivious to anything that had just happened or was happening now.
“We need to talk,” Angel said.
Uh-oh. “We do?” Xander’s brain clunked and clicked to find a stupid response or a funny brush off, anything to disguise the fear he felt. Angel’s expression gave absolutely nothing away, but Xander’s head suddenly filled with a handful of terrors. What exactly did Angel know? Did Angel know that he’d fooled around with Spike? Had Spike opened his great, big, fat mouth and blabbed? Would Angel tell Buffy? Kick his ass? Say welcome to the family, can I have a bite?
Angel glanced over at Buffy again and nodded back at Xander. “Outside.” He turned and left and Xander debated making a break for it, but his legs suddenly felt like jelly and he was sure he’d only end up doing a cartoon, running-on-the-spot thing before Angel grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him off. Reluctantly, Xander followed and they left The Bronze through the side entrance.
They walked a fair distance away from the club before Xander spoke. And that was only to break the tension, the tension that only he probably felt because Angel looked as cool as a cucumber. “So what’s this about?”
Angel glanced down at Xander and nearly smiled. “I think you know.”
“Uh, don’t think so.” Xander laughed nervously. “Enlighten me, oh undead one, because I really am as stupid as I look. Is it Buffy’s birthday? Let me guess, you have no idea what to get her? Well, I am not shopping for lacy bras with you. You’re on your own, pal.”
“Spike.”
Xander’s step faltered and he was pretty sure Angel noticed. “I have no idea…”
Angel stopped and his hand closed around Xander’s arm before he could walk on and pretend that this conversation wasn’t happening. “He told me. So there’s no point in denying it.”
Xander considered lying anyway. Innocent until proven guilty. And there was no Spike around to give evidence. “Shit.” But there was no point because Angel did know and if Xander wanted to have any chance of convincing Angel to not tell Buffy then he needed to be at least somewhat honest.
“Okay,” Xander said. “What did he tell you?” Xander had absolutely no chance of stopping the instinctive cringe. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to know.
Angel was silent again and when he finally spoke it was with humour in his voice. Xander wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Angel exhibit humour. “No details, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Obviously it was and Xander was near ready to clock Angel for making him sweat, but then he remembered the whole super strength thing and decided that it wasn’t worth ending up on his ass on the sidewalk. “Why do I get the impression you’re enjoying this?”
“I’m a tortured soul. I gotta get my kicks somehow.” He grinned then and carried on walking.
Xander jogged to catch up. “Hey! What’s with you?! I thought you were gonna give a lecture about Spike and the evil things that vampires do. You’re the expert, after all.” Xander cursed his overactive mouth when Angel’s face fell from amused back to expressionless. Whoops.
“How you risk your life is your business, Xander.”
Xander made a ‘go on’ gesture with his hand. “Yeah, and?”
“And I wanted to tell you two things. Firstly, Spike’s gone and I have no idea where. He said he wasn’t coming back.”
Well, that confirmed it then. It should have made things feel simpler, but suddenly Xander’s head felt bug crazy.
“Secondly, Spike always comes back.”
Xander looked at the floor to find his head because he was sure it had overloaded and fallen off.
Angel continued. “You’ll need to make some decisions and you’ll need to make them quickly because if this reaches Buffy you know she’ll get involved. I don’t want that. You don’t know what Spike is capable of.”
Xander was still reeling from the ‘Spike always comes back’ comment, but somehow he managed to force his brain into first gear. “I do know.”
Angel studied his face. Xander would normally have been uncomfortable with that but his heart was racing and his stomach was churning and suddenly Angel didn’t really matter.
“Then you’ll know that he’s killed two Slayers.”
Xander nodded.
Angel stepped into Xander’s private space. His eyes were dark and angry and Xander made the decision then that this wasn’t a good vampire to piss off. Especially when you were alone with him.
Angel backed him into the wall with a bump. He put a hand each side of Xander’s head and leaned closer. “Buffy’s not ready to face him.”
Xander wanted to close his eyes and turn away, but Angel’s gaze was so strong that it held him in place. “I know.” It was whispered because Xander’s voice was nearly gone.
“And there’s one more thing. Something I need to know,” Angel continued. He removed one hand from the wall and dropped it to Xander’s hip. His fingers pressed and held Xander in a vice-like grip. He massaged that spot for a moment before his hand relaxed and his palm glided over to the growing bulge in Xander’s pants.
Xander’s eyes did close then because Angel’s hand was stroking and, shit, that felt damn good. Angel squeezed and Xander’s breath hitched. “Angel…stop.”
Then, cheek to cheek, Angel whispered in Xander’s ear. “Is this a Spike thing?” he asked, “because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell feels like a vampire fetish thing.”
Xander’s eyes shot open at that. He managed to get his hands between them and shoved Angel away with an angry grunt. “Fuck off!”
Angel stumbled back. “If your foolish behaviour hurts Buffy,” he said, “I will make you very sorry.”
Xander’s face twisted into an expression that was part anger and part disbelief. “Who the hell do you think you are?! Buffy is my friend! I would never do anything that would…”
“You played around with Spike.”
“So?! If Spike wanted to fight Buffy he would have. He already knew who she was. That had nothing to do with me. And he never tried to get any Slayer related intel. He never tried anything.”
Angel cocked an eyebrow. “Now I know you’re lying.”
“Hey! What me and Spike did is none of your damn business.” Xander’s voice faltered as he thought about what they had done. Spike’s hands, Spike’s kisses.
Angel interpreted the falter differently. “Did he hurt you?”
“And what if he did? Like you care.”
Angel seemed to be considering that. “I’ll tell Giles,” he said finally, turning and striding away.
It wasn’t a threat, it was a statement, and Xander charged after Angel and grabbed hold of his jacket sleeve. “No, no, no! You can’t tell!”
“I have to.”
“You don’t! You said yourself he’s gone and he didn’t hurt me, not at all. Angel, man, you have to believe me!”
Angel allowed Xander a brief glance as he kept walking, never slowing his pace. “I do believe you. I’m still telling.”
“What are you, five?! You’re still telling?! Come on! Cut me some slack here!”
“Spike will be back. And if he didn’t hurt you before he’ll hurt you then. I can’t let that happen.”
“Oh, please, you can’t let that happen,” Xander mimicked. “Which Good Samaritan are you suddenly channelling? And hey, you just assaulted me!”
“I didn’t. I was trying to prove a point.”
“And I’m sure Giles will see it that way,” Xander spat, “because if you tell him about me and Spike I swear to all the gods I’ll tell him what you just did to me. You can kiss your trusted position goodbye, Deadboy.”
Angel stopped. “You wouldn’t.” His expression wasn’t so confident.
“Then you really don’t know me at all. I would do it and I will exaggerate and possibly even make stuff up.”
“You’re right. I don’t know you. I hadn’t pegged you as a liar.”
Xander shrugged like he was indifferent to the comment. “I don’t usually lie. But not only are you about to tell one of my friends, who happens to be a Watcher, that I’m consorting with a soulless vampire that killed two Slayers but, worse than that, you’re about to out me!”
“What does that mean?”
“Okay, I realise you’re old, but did you take the snooze train to Sleepsville for the last century? You’re about to drag me out of the closet! I’m not ready to tell!”
The penny seemed to drop and Angel’s angry eyes softened. “You’re worried that your friends will find out you’re gay?”
Xander nodded. “Duh. Big time.”
“I wasn’t aware they didn’t know. It was obvious to me.”
Xander was sure there was an insult in there somewhere, but he ignored it in favour of more pleading. “Angel, please don’t tell. I swear Spike and I just kissed a few times. That was it. It’s over and he’s gone. That’s all, folks. And if he comes back then you’ll just have to tell him to stay away from me. And I’ll stay away from him. Just don’t rat me out, okay?”
Reluctantly, Angel nodded. “Okay. My lips are sealed. But if he comes back…”
“Yeah, I know, I know. It won’t happen.”
Angel seemed satisfied with that. He started walking away. “We should get you back to The Bronze before you’re missed.”
“I should get back before I’m missed. You should be elsewhere. You’re not exactly my favourite person right now.”
Angel nodded. “I’m sure I’m not. I’ll make sure you get there safely then I’ll…” He flapped his hand, “…go. Somewhere else. And you should maybe consider talking to your friends about your gay issues.”
“Excuse me?! Spare me the Rikki Lake, will you? I don’t have issues. I’m gay, therefore I am, but I certainly don’t have issues!”
That seemed to amuse Angel. “Is that so?”
“Yes! It is, actually!”
“Then why don’t you tell them?”
“Hey, sixteen here, remember? Coming out is hard and when I do it, I wanna do it properly. I’m just…”
“Scared?”
“No! You are such an asshole, Angel. I have no idea what Buffy sees in you. I’m just not ready yet. I’m not ready for my friends and family to walk away from me.” Xander looked at the ground and willed the sidewalk to open up and suck either him or Angel down. Yet he still couldn’t seem to stop talking. “I’m not sure I could cope with that. You know, and the whole humiliation thing. You ever get bullied at school?” he asked Angel.
Angel shook his head. “No.”
“Well, I have and it sucks. Occasionally I still get smart remarks and it’s not unheard of for me to get an elbow in the face on the basketball court, but I can handle that. But I don’t think I can go back to what it used to be like. It’s too hard. And besides, I like to wake up in the morning happy, not sick to my stomach that I’m gonna get pushed in the pool again or beaten up or tripped up in the halls and land flat on my face in front of everyone.”
“I can see how that would cramp your day.”
“Understatement Awards? You get first prize.”
The Bronze came back into view and Angel stopped. “I’ll leave you here.”
“I’ll try to contain myself.”
“Xander, I’m sorry about…what I did. I guess I’m just not used to dealing with people.”
“I never would have guessed.”
Angel sighed as Xander turned around and headed back towards The Bronze. “I meant what I said, though, Xander. Don’t involve Buffy in this. And be careful with Spike because he will be back.”
Xander stopped and looked over his shoulder. He quashed the urge to say ‘I hope so.’
“And…” Angel seemed to be having trouble finding the right words, “…if you get in trouble and you can’t tell your friends, come and, uh, tell me.”
Xander’s mouth opened in barely concealed shock. “You? As in you? Like…you?”
“Me,” Angel said. “Oh, and when Spike does decide to come back, don’t tell him the bullying story unless you want to wake up the next day with half your class dead.”
Xander blinked and Angel was gone. He turned back to The Bronze and walked in. “I still hate that guy.”
TBC…
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 07:44 pm (UTC)“Xander, I’m sorry about…what I did. I guess I’m just not used to dealing with people.”
lmao. I love that his idea of "dealing with people" is some over-the-pants fondling to make a point. btw, you made me drool a little on myself there. *g*
“I wasn’t aware they didn’t know. It was obvious to me.”
lol, me too Angel! I always thought if I had to vote one of the scoobies most likely to come out, it would have been xander, not willow. when that happened I was like...the hell?
aww, and Spike always comes back! and aww, Angel is feeling a little protective! and awww, Spike would massacre bullies! lol. too bad the last one really did make me 'aww'.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 05:22 pm (UTC)~points~ you made me go 'awww' too!! Hee!!
I'm so glad you enjoyed.
I love that his idea of "dealing with people" is some over-the-pants fondling to make a point. btw, you made me drool a little on myself there. *g*
Hee! That's our Angel for you. Lots to learn. And don't worry about the drooling. I did that when I wrote it ;o)
Thanks for you wonderful feedback. And I love your icon!!!! LOL!
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Date: 2006-07-17 08:01 pm (UTC)Loved it and I want more. I wonder how you're going to handle Spike's return, his desire to hunt, etc.
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:28 pm (UTC)Thank you, luv! And as for Spike's return...I need to wrap my own brain around that first. LOL!
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Date: 2006-07-17 08:47 pm (UTC)“Me,” Angel said. “Oh, and when Spike does decide to come back, don’t tell him the bullying story unless you want to wake up the next day with half your class dead.”
Xander blinked and Angel was gone. He turned back to The Bronze and walked in. “I still hate that guy.”
And that? Fills me with joy. Thanks so much love!
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:31 pm (UTC)Angel was such an idiot in the first season. He's good but he's also a dick. I'm gonna enjoy showing that side of him for a while until he grows up a bit!!
MWAH!!
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Date: 2006-07-17 09:00 pm (UTC)I loved how Xander was so much more worried about being outed as gay than he was at being outed as a vampire loved. Hee!
*smooch*
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:34 pm (UTC)I think Angel was a bit of a dick in S1 and that just struck me as the sort of idiotic thing he would do, bless his cottons. :oD
Hee! Xander certainly has his priorities!!!
~huggles~
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Date: 2006-07-17 09:01 pm (UTC)Great Angel/Xander interaction, and I love that Xander has to spell out the trauma of school life to him. God, Angel really is old sometimes and just a little bit dense (pats him on the head in a patronising manner..) Bit it's sweet in a strange way that he's offering to be an ear if required
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:37 pm (UTC)~pats Angel too~ He really is very old and although he's been around for such a long time he's still pretty slow, bless him. But he does really want to help, even if he doesn't quite know how to do that yet.
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Date: 2006-07-17 09:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 05:39 pm (UTC)Absolutely right, they are perfect for snark and uncomfortable scenes. I fully intend to exploit that ;o)
I'm willing to bet Xander takes him up on it before this is all over.
You just might be right there. ;o)
Thanks for the feedback!
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Date: 2006-07-17 09:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 05:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 09:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 05:40 pm (UTC)Aw, Angel's not so bad. But he can use a little bashing now and again ;o) Hee!
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Date: 2006-07-17 10:47 pm (UTC)I surely hope that Spike does come back, then he can take Xander away from all the bad things.......... ::le sigh::
::obligatory TB song and dance::
Can't wait for more.
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:42 pm (UTC)Thank you!!!
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Date: 2006-07-17 10:56 pm (UTC)I'm a bad feedbacker, but I've been enjoying this story for a while. The Xander and Buffy banter is probably my favorite part of it, really, which is weird because together they don't push a lot of buttons for me in most stories. Interested to see how the Spike/Xander dynamc is going to change when the former returns, now that Xander's had to deal with Spike's past and Spike has had to face the thought that their relationship might be heading towards the more-than-casual. :)
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:51 pm (UTC)Heh. You're not wrong. I think Angel was a complete plank in S1 and I'm loving that I can show him behaving that way. I'm sure he'll learn soon enough but until then...
I'm so glad you're enjoying. Actually Buffy and Xander does nothing for me either, but I'm really having a great time putting them together as friends. I think the dynamic really works.
And as for Spike and Xander...who knows. Erm, not even me yet. I have a few decisions to make about that now ;o)
Thank for the wonderful feedback!
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Date: 2006-07-18 12:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 05:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 12:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 05:55 pm (UTC)Hee! Wouldn't it be great to have a Spike watching your back? ~g~
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:16 am (UTC)And whoooo!
And 'Spike'll be back'!
Of course he will!
:)
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 01:18 am (UTC)Love the idea of a returning overprotective Spike this implies
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:56 pm (UTC)It certainly does imply that. Should prove fun ;o)
Thanks, luv!!
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Date: 2006-07-18 01:36 am (UTC)“I never would have guessed.”
Haha!
Also: good advice from Angel about not letting Spikey know about the bullies. They'd find them with spike's buried in all sorts of places.
I love this fic. I got all caught up a while back and now I get to bask whenever you get your Xander on.
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Date: 2006-07-18 05:58 pm (UTC)Oh, yeah, you know it would happen and possibly still could!!
Yay! Glad you're all caught up!! Thanks, luv ~huggles~
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 05:59 pm (UTC)~hugs~
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:26 am (UTC)I FLOVED that part. Damn Angel and his judgemental ass. Stay the hell out of things!
Spike should come back when Angel is in LA LA land and Xander is a little older. They both tell Angel to fuck himself and do what they want.
Drat, I actually thought Angel would be cool about this. Burst my bubble Suki *sad face*
I still love it though.
More Soon
Shay
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Date: 2006-07-18 06:02 pm (UTC)LOL! Whoops! Sorry about that!! Don't worry too much, though. Angel is being a penis at the moment, but I'm pretty sure he'll get over it. I kind of think he'll have to when Spike comes back ;o)
Thank you!
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Date: 2006-07-18 02:59 am (UTC)Can't wait for more!
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Date: 2006-07-18 06:03 pm (UTC)Thank you!!
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Date: 2006-07-18 10:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 06:04 pm (UTC)Spike will definitely be back soon, don't worry about that. ;o)
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Date: 2006-07-18 04:58 pm (UTC)I'll be looking forward to more of this when you can and thank you for updating.
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Date: 2006-07-18 06:05 pm (UTC)Yay!! that is exactly the quality I was going for!!!
Thanks so much! They'll definitely be more of this once i get back from
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Date: 2006-07-18 04:59 pm (UTC)Is it weird that I think awkward and clueless Angel kinda cute?
He's so dopey but he cares in a totally obtuse way..
And poor poor Xander..
*Hits Spike*
Dumbass!
It's no secret, I totally adore and love this story..
*Smooch*
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Date: 2006-07-18 06:06 pm (UTC)Is it weird that I think awkward and clueless Angel kinda cute?
Nope. I think it's cute, too ~g~
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Date: 2006-07-18 06:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-18 06:57 pm (UTC)I really wanted to capture Angel as he was in S1 and I think he was basically a really nice guy with a lot of communication and behavior issues. I'm glad that came across. Yay!!
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Date: 2006-07-19 03:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-07-19 01:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-07-22 08:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-29 12:04 pm (UTC)