Fic: Teenage Dirtbag - Spike/Xander - 2/?
Mar. 3rd, 2006 08:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
suki_blueTitle: Teenage Dirtbag
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: Will eventually be NC-17
Warnings: Season 1, so contains young Xander. Later parts may contain violence. You have been warned! Also, this fic is likely to be very long and will updated whenever the muse feels like it.
Summary: Teenage life on a Hellmouth.
Beta'd by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kitty_poker1
Written for my darlingamejisuto.
Previous part is HERE
Milk, eggs, two chocolate bars and a jumbo bag of chips. And who said that going to the store for your parents wasn’t a lucrative business? In fact, over the years Xander had made quite a profit out of the running of daily errands. Certainly, it kept his appetite as sated as a sixteen year old boy’s could be.
Xander ripped open the bag of chips and dug in. Hey, it was a big bag and would therefore take time to eat. He’d better get a head start before he got home. And before his mother could scold him for eating before dinner.
Of course, Xander’s mother knew that he snacked before dinner, just the same as she knew that he sometimes snuck out of his window at night and came back looking like he’d had a fight with a puddle of mud. But so long as he washed the dirty clothes, threw out the torn ones, didn’t get caught sneaking out by his father and ate all his dinner, including the green stuff, she would say nothing.
Xander walked a little faster, wary now that the sun had set. It would be just his luck to run into some sort of evil undead. But then again, if he was going to get his blood sucked he’d rather it be before he had to eat his mother’s soggy greens. At least then when Buffy jumped out to save him he could go to the hospital and eat their food.
Xander thought about his friend. Buffy certainly was a treat for the eye. And other parts. Petite, blonde, nice boobies – she was every teenage boy’s wet dream. He embarrassed himself, chasing after her on a daily basis. Yup, he had no shame as far as Buffy went. Which was all good. All the time he was panting after her, no-one would have any idea about the other thoughts. The night-time thoughts. The night-time thoughts that he wasn’t supposed to think about. The night-time thoughts that he wasn’t thinking about now. No. Way.
“Now, what’s a nice boy like you doing out on a night like this?”
Xander stiffened and gripped the bag of chips tighter. From the full-frontal-fang, he correctly guessed that this was a vampire.
“Cat got your tongue, boy?”
Now, there was a choice: Drop the bag of groceries, grab the stake in his jacket pocket and risk breaking the eggs and have to go back for more. Or hit the guy with the bag and make a run for it – still breaking the eggs. Hmm.
“How about you and me party?”
Xander suddenly laughed. “And what decade did you crawl out from? Can we say cheese? Let me guess, you’re an eighties kinda guy.”
“What’s wrong with the eighties?”
“Nothing.” Xander shrugged, aiming for casual indifference. “Except…oh, nothing.”
“Except what?!”
Xander began to edge back “Well, the hair, for a start. Do you remember what Jon Bon Jovi used to look like? Do you remember Prince? And to think, between him and Michael Jackson, we all thought Prince was the insane one. And Cabbage Patch Kids…”
“Okay, okay, I see your point. You can stop.”
“You sure? I could go on.”
The vamp smiled politely. “I’d really rather you were just dinner now.”
“Uh – wouldn’t you rather have some chips? Lays Sour Cream and Onion?” Xander continued walking backwards. He knew he could never outrun a vampire. His only chance would be to outsmart it. Or get rescued. Again. Not that it really bothered him. He’d gotten used to being rescued some time ago.
Okay, there was no Buffy in sight. He was going to have to go with his razor-sharp street smarts. Xander planted his feet firmly on the ground and waited for the vampire to slowly approach.
“Young blood is always the tastiest, you know? Must be the all the sugar you kids eat. Sweet.”
“Ah, well, I’ve mostly been eating a lot of savoury lately. Corn chips, garlic bread…and, erm, oatmeal. I ate a whole lot of that this morning.” That was the truth. Oatmeal was always a firm favourite at the breakfast table, especially when the alternative was an empty stomach.
“I bet you put sugar on your oatmeal, don’t you?”
“Uh – no?” The helpless teenager act was working nicely – aside from the fact that Xander really was a helpless teenager. The vampire was confident and cocky, so sure that this victim was a fang away from being an appetiser.
“You’re lying. I can smell the sugar in your blood. Come here, little rabbit.”
Xander frowned as the vampire stopped just in front of him. “I look like a rabbit? Is it the ears? They’re not that bad. And I’m not little.”
“Shhh. Give daddy some sugar, little…argh!”
“Firstly, euw. How creepy was that guy?” Buffy patted her clothes, releasing plumes of dust into the air. “Secondly, you okay, Xand?”
“Firstly, I’ll second that. Secondly, I had it totally under control.”
“You did? Oh. Sorry to rain on your parade.” It was not said unkindly. “What was the plan?”
Xander put down the bag of groceries and pulled out a stake. “This,” he declared with mock pride. It was a small enough stake that it could easily have been mistaken for a pencil. Oh, it was a pencil.
Buffy tried to stifle a laugh. “And just what were you planning on doing with that?”
“What do you think? Poke him in the eye.”
“Poke him in the eye? Which one?”
“Don’t mock. I was going to poke him in the eye and run like hell, screaming like the girl I am.”
“Auw, Xand, you’re not a girl,” Buffy assured as she took Xander’s arm and picked up his groceries. “Want me to walk you home?”
“Would you mind? I gotta get this stuff home before dinner. I think Mom wants the eggs for some sort of experiment. So if I don’t turn up to school on Monday, know that Mom poisoned me and I’m sick for real. Willow thinks I was sick for real, right?” Xander asked, his brain doing a sudden u-turn.
“Of course!”
Xander clutched at his heart. “Thank god. One thing that scares the jeebies out of me is the thought of Willow’s disappointed look. I can’t handle that.”
“She means well, Xand. It’s only because she cares.”
“Yeah, I know. But…maybe she needs to accept that I’m just a slacker with no brain.”
“Then you need to stop hiding your slacker self from her and admit it.”
“Oh, like you do?”
Xander’s accusing look was well deserved. Buffy sighed. “I hear you. In the closet we both stay.”
“Good. The closet’s cosy. And we can grope.”
Buffy hit him.
“Can I say, ow?”
“You can say it, but it won’t make it hurt less.”
“Bitch.”
“Slacker,” Buffy shot back.
“Other slacker.”
“Sugar.”
“That was below the belt.”
Buffy laughed and held on to her friend’s arm tighter. “It’s only because I loves ya, Xand.”
“Yeah, yeah. Flattery will get you absolutely everywhere.” Xander paused as a sudden thought entered his brain. “Shit.”
“What?”
“Why couldn’t you have saved me after I’d lost a couple of pints of blood? Now I’m gonna have to eat soggy broccoli!”
**
Curious eyes watched from afar. The Sunnydale Slayer had friends, did she? That was new and interesting. Very interesting, if that dark-haired boy was anything to go by. Xand? Odd name.
One part of Spike was seriously tempted to follow the two back to Xand’s home. The other part just wanted to find Dru and get the hell out of Sunnydale. A Hellmouth was all well and good, but a Hellmouth guarded by a Slayer was asking for the sort of trouble Spike just couldn’t be bothered with. Sure, he could kill this Slayer just like he had the other two, but what was actually the point?
Kill a Slayer and one more would pop up in her place.
At least if this Slayer was alive, Spike could keep track of her and not worry about a stake in his non-beating regions when he least expected it.
So, to follow or to see to business?
Spike turned and headed towards the cemetery. Business first.
Pleasure later.
TBC…
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: Will eventually be NC-17
Warnings: Season 1, so contains young Xander. Later parts may contain violence. You have been warned! Also, this fic is likely to be very long and will updated whenever the muse feels like it.
Summary: Teenage life on a Hellmouth.
Beta'd by
kitty_poker1Written for my darling
amejisuto.Previous part is HERE
Milk, eggs, two chocolate bars and a jumbo bag of chips. And who said that going to the store for your parents wasn’t a lucrative business? In fact, over the years Xander had made quite a profit out of the running of daily errands. Certainly, it kept his appetite as sated as a sixteen year old boy’s could be.
Xander ripped open the bag of chips and dug in. Hey, it was a big bag and would therefore take time to eat. He’d better get a head start before he got home. And before his mother could scold him for eating before dinner.
Of course, Xander’s mother knew that he snacked before dinner, just the same as she knew that he sometimes snuck out of his window at night and came back looking like he’d had a fight with a puddle of mud. But so long as he washed the dirty clothes, threw out the torn ones, didn’t get caught sneaking out by his father and ate all his dinner, including the green stuff, she would say nothing.
Xander walked a little faster, wary now that the sun had set. It would be just his luck to run into some sort of evil undead. But then again, if he was going to get his blood sucked he’d rather it be before he had to eat his mother’s soggy greens. At least then when Buffy jumped out to save him he could go to the hospital and eat their food.
Xander thought about his friend. Buffy certainly was a treat for the eye. And other parts. Petite, blonde, nice boobies – she was every teenage boy’s wet dream. He embarrassed himself, chasing after her on a daily basis. Yup, he had no shame as far as Buffy went. Which was all good. All the time he was panting after her, no-one would have any idea about the other thoughts. The night-time thoughts. The night-time thoughts that he wasn’t supposed to think about. The night-time thoughts that he wasn’t thinking about now. No. Way.
“Now, what’s a nice boy like you doing out on a night like this?”
Xander stiffened and gripped the bag of chips tighter. From the full-frontal-fang, he correctly guessed that this was a vampire.
“Cat got your tongue, boy?”
Now, there was a choice: Drop the bag of groceries, grab the stake in his jacket pocket and risk breaking the eggs and have to go back for more. Or hit the guy with the bag and make a run for it – still breaking the eggs. Hmm.
“How about you and me party?”
Xander suddenly laughed. “And what decade did you crawl out from? Can we say cheese? Let me guess, you’re an eighties kinda guy.”
“What’s wrong with the eighties?”
“Nothing.” Xander shrugged, aiming for casual indifference. “Except…oh, nothing.”
“Except what?!”
Xander began to edge back “Well, the hair, for a start. Do you remember what Jon Bon Jovi used to look like? Do you remember Prince? And to think, between him and Michael Jackson, we all thought Prince was the insane one. And Cabbage Patch Kids…”
“Okay, okay, I see your point. You can stop.”
“You sure? I could go on.”
The vamp smiled politely. “I’d really rather you were just dinner now.”
“Uh – wouldn’t you rather have some chips? Lays Sour Cream and Onion?” Xander continued walking backwards. He knew he could never outrun a vampire. His only chance would be to outsmart it. Or get rescued. Again. Not that it really bothered him. He’d gotten used to being rescued some time ago.
Okay, there was no Buffy in sight. He was going to have to go with his razor-sharp street smarts. Xander planted his feet firmly on the ground and waited for the vampire to slowly approach.
“Young blood is always the tastiest, you know? Must be the all the sugar you kids eat. Sweet.”
“Ah, well, I’ve mostly been eating a lot of savoury lately. Corn chips, garlic bread…and, erm, oatmeal. I ate a whole lot of that this morning.” That was the truth. Oatmeal was always a firm favourite at the breakfast table, especially when the alternative was an empty stomach.
“I bet you put sugar on your oatmeal, don’t you?”
“Uh – no?” The helpless teenager act was working nicely – aside from the fact that Xander really was a helpless teenager. The vampire was confident and cocky, so sure that this victim was a fang away from being an appetiser.
“You’re lying. I can smell the sugar in your blood. Come here, little rabbit.”
Xander frowned as the vampire stopped just in front of him. “I look like a rabbit? Is it the ears? They’re not that bad. And I’m not little.”
“Shhh. Give daddy some sugar, little…argh!”
“Firstly, euw. How creepy was that guy?” Buffy patted her clothes, releasing plumes of dust into the air. “Secondly, you okay, Xand?”
“Firstly, I’ll second that. Secondly, I had it totally under control.”
“You did? Oh. Sorry to rain on your parade.” It was not said unkindly. “What was the plan?”
Xander put down the bag of groceries and pulled out a stake. “This,” he declared with mock pride. It was a small enough stake that it could easily have been mistaken for a pencil. Oh, it was a pencil.
Buffy tried to stifle a laugh. “And just what were you planning on doing with that?”
“What do you think? Poke him in the eye.”
“Poke him in the eye? Which one?”
“Don’t mock. I was going to poke him in the eye and run like hell, screaming like the girl I am.”
“Auw, Xand, you’re not a girl,” Buffy assured as she took Xander’s arm and picked up his groceries. “Want me to walk you home?”
“Would you mind? I gotta get this stuff home before dinner. I think Mom wants the eggs for some sort of experiment. So if I don’t turn up to school on Monday, know that Mom poisoned me and I’m sick for real. Willow thinks I was sick for real, right?” Xander asked, his brain doing a sudden u-turn.
“Of course!”
Xander clutched at his heart. “Thank god. One thing that scares the jeebies out of me is the thought of Willow’s disappointed look. I can’t handle that.”
“She means well, Xand. It’s only because she cares.”
“Yeah, I know. But…maybe she needs to accept that I’m just a slacker with no brain.”
“Then you need to stop hiding your slacker self from her and admit it.”
“Oh, like you do?”
Xander’s accusing look was well deserved. Buffy sighed. “I hear you. In the closet we both stay.”
“Good. The closet’s cosy. And we can grope.”
Buffy hit him.
“Can I say, ow?”
“You can say it, but it won’t make it hurt less.”
“Bitch.”
“Slacker,” Buffy shot back.
“Other slacker.”
“Sugar.”
“That was below the belt.”
Buffy laughed and held on to her friend’s arm tighter. “It’s only because I loves ya, Xand.”
“Yeah, yeah. Flattery will get you absolutely everywhere.” Xander paused as a sudden thought entered his brain. “Shit.”
“What?”
“Why couldn’t you have saved me after I’d lost a couple of pints of blood? Now I’m gonna have to eat soggy broccoli!”
**
Curious eyes watched from afar. The Sunnydale Slayer had friends, did she? That was new and interesting. Very interesting, if that dark-haired boy was anything to go by. Xand? Odd name.
One part of Spike was seriously tempted to follow the two back to Xand’s home. The other part just wanted to find Dru and get the hell out of Sunnydale. A Hellmouth was all well and good, but a Hellmouth guarded by a Slayer was asking for the sort of trouble Spike just couldn’t be bothered with. Sure, he could kill this Slayer just like he had the other two, but what was actually the point?
Kill a Slayer and one more would pop up in her place.
At least if this Slayer was alive, Spike could keep track of her and not worry about a stake in his non-beating regions when he least expected it.
So, to follow or to see to business?
Spike turned and headed towards the cemetery. Business first.
Pleasure later.
TBC…
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 05:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 03:13 am (UTC)Myself, I love soggy broccoli. Xander, not so much. ;o)