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Fic: Grief Counseling - Chapter 17
Dec. 3rd, 2005 07:02 pmChapter 17 is up at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
griefcounseling
griefcounselingDec. 3rd, 2005
(no subject)
Dec. 3rd, 2005 08:34 pmHello, guys!
I've been absent from LJ again. So if you've posted - I've missed it. Some people wish they could get a life. I wish I could get rid of mine.
So, what have I been up to? I'm sure you're all just burning to know. Answer: Working, cleaning, feeling exhausted and a little blue. I have a terrible ache in my neck and shoulders and I'm convinced it's because I'm developing some sort of hump. I'm gonna be humpy :o(
I think I might be suffering from SAD. Either that or I'm just going slightly crazy. The dark evenings have me nodding off on the bus and by the time I get home it feels like it's 11.00 when it's only 5.00. I feel so lethargic. And stressed.
I was so stressed while cleaning the house today that I was actually shaking. All I wanted to do was hoover and dust and put up the decoratons and then walk the dog, but the hoover cut out because the bag was full and that started my grandad fussing. Then he did his 'I'm so old and frail' routine that he always does when I have to do all the housework because he can't be bothered. It just made me angry. There was nothing wrong with him!
He is old and he can't really do much around the house, and that is fine. I can accept that and I'm willing to give up all my time to look after him and do all the work. But I can't stand the pathetic act that he puts on while I'm doing it. I'd be much happier if he'd just sit there and crack a joke or just talk to me instead of reaching for the pills or holding onto his back with a large exhaled breath that means 'I'm knacked' Hey! How can your back be aching?! I'm the one that just spent 5 hours cleaning, walking the dog and putting up the tree!!! Gimme a damn break!
Life isn't always easy. perhaps I make it sound like it is sometimes. But it isn't. Living with my Grandfather has always been hard, but as the years go on it gets harder and harder. I'll always love him and look after him, but...sometimes it sucks.
Okay, winge over. I'm feeling good, now. I can relax for all of tomorrow and read my comics and write my fics and browse LJ. The living room looks very christmasy, so I'm glad I made the effort to do it this weekend. When I put the tree up, I stepped back and said to grandad 'There. All done. Doesn't that look nice.' He then said 'Well, a blind man would be glad to see it.' It was either laugh or cry. I chose to laugh. ~g~ It does look rather...colourful? Mismatched? Wonky? All of the above?
I've been absent from LJ again. So if you've posted - I've missed it. Some people wish they could get a life. I wish I could get rid of mine.
So, what have I been up to? I'm sure you're all just burning to know. Answer: Working, cleaning, feeling exhausted and a little blue. I have a terrible ache in my neck and shoulders and I'm convinced it's because I'm developing some sort of hump. I'm gonna be humpy :o(
I think I might be suffering from SAD. Either that or I'm just going slightly crazy. The dark evenings have me nodding off on the bus and by the time I get home it feels like it's 11.00 when it's only 5.00. I feel so lethargic. And stressed.
I was so stressed while cleaning the house today that I was actually shaking. All I wanted to do was hoover and dust and put up the decoratons and then walk the dog, but the hoover cut out because the bag was full and that started my grandad fussing. Then he did his 'I'm so old and frail' routine that he always does when I have to do all the housework because he can't be bothered. It just made me angry. There was nothing wrong with him!
He is old and he can't really do much around the house, and that is fine. I can accept that and I'm willing to give up all my time to look after him and do all the work. But I can't stand the pathetic act that he puts on while I'm doing it. I'd be much happier if he'd just sit there and crack a joke or just talk to me instead of reaching for the pills or holding onto his back with a large exhaled breath that means 'I'm knacked' Hey! How can your back be aching?! I'm the one that just spent 5 hours cleaning, walking the dog and putting up the tree!!! Gimme a damn break!
Life isn't always easy. perhaps I make it sound like it is sometimes. But it isn't. Living with my Grandfather has always been hard, but as the years go on it gets harder and harder. I'll always love him and look after him, but...sometimes it sucks.
Okay, winge over. I'm feeling good, now. I can relax for all of tomorrow and read my comics and write my fics and browse LJ. The living room looks very christmasy, so I'm glad I made the effort to do it this weekend. When I put the tree up, I stepped back and said to grandad 'There. All done. Doesn't that look nice.' He then said 'Well, a blind man would be glad to see it.' It was either laugh or cry. I chose to laugh. ~g~ It does look rather...colourful? Mismatched? Wonky? All of the above?